Got Enough Resilience for the Holidays?

Got enough resilience for the holidays?

– Proactively build your resilience for more satisfying relationships.

Are you emotionally prepared to gather with others to ring in the celebrations of thankfulness, the celebration of Jesus’ birth, and the ringing in of a New Year? Data reveals that the holidays can be some of the most emotionally disruptive events in a person’s year. This year could be different for you if you begin with an offensive plan for greater relational satisfaction.

A few suggestions for proactive preparation include:

• Expanding your resilience 
• Knowing when your relational connectors are off
• Choosing carefully who you want to be with this season
• Creating boundaries for relational interactions 

In this post, we want to provide you with insights and exercises that will help you become more relational so you can connect with others, rather than being agitated by their irritating behaviors over the holiday season.

When looking at the neurobiology of relationships, humans must choose to activate the relational center of the brain. We must become aware when the relational center of the brain is off-line. The following questions are prompters to help you realize if your relational connections are off or dim.

If you answer yes to any of the following questions, consider pausing and practicing activation exercises to help shift the neurochemistry needed for healthy interactions. “Yes” responses are an indication of your need to intentionally build resilience and activate your relational connectors.

• I just want to make a problem, person or feeling go away.  Yes or NO
• I don’t want to listen to what others feel or say. Yes or NO
• My mind is “locked onto” something upsetting. Yes or NO
• I don’t want to be connected to … (Someone I usually like) Yes or NO
• I just want to get away or fight or I freeze. Yes or NO
• I more aggressively interrogate, judge, and fix others. Yes or NO
• My cravings (food, sex, shopping, extreme sports) seem strong. Yes or NO

*questions taken from “Belonging” by Ed Khouri

 

If you’ve answered yes to any of the above questions, these ACTIVATION EXERCISES can help restore the relational connectors for healthier relationships.

• 4x4x4x4 – Take breaths through your nose, inhaling deeply into your belly, and then exhaling slowly through your lips. Count your breaths by four counts. Inhale for four counts, hold for four, exhale for four, hold for four. Repeat as needed.
• BODY SCAN – Scan your body from the tip of your head to bottom of your feet to notice where you are holding on to stress. Concentrate on releasing the tension when you discover it. When you are done, take a few cleansing breaths, exhaling the tightness you were holding in your body.

When relationships are not life-giving, they can deplete us emotionally. When running low on emotional energy, life doesn’t have the same zest or zeal. It can feel flat, overwhelming, or down right agitating. Getting through the day can be an accomplishment.

For this holiday season try proactively building your emotional capacity so you can experience life with your relational connectors on. May you be your best for those you love and care about. 

Wishing you and yours an exceptionally beautiful holiday season.

For support in activating relational connectors or drawing boundaries in relationships, email kim.specker@raretransformation.com